A slow awakening

If you follow me on Instagram, you’ll have seen me hop back into the @8WeeksToWow program at the beginning of this week. Walking into work on Monday morning, I said out loud, startling someone walking in with me ‘I’m done.’

  • I’m done with the self-sabotage of falling off the wagon.
  • I’m done with not being able to drink in moderation.
  • I’m done with not loving myself enough to say ‘No thank you.’
  • I’m done with thinking I’m not worthy enough of treating my body with respect and care and punishing my ‘soul-sack’ through alcohol and food.
  • I’m done with worry about what other people think of me if I don’t drink.

I understand now that I need to own this. That despite people offering me, or being surprised when I turn it down, or giving me the Spanish Inquisition as to why – I cannot drink any more.

I’m done.

It is my business; I do not need to justify this decision to you. I do not need to explain this decision to you. Neither do you need to ask me why, nor when I tell you it’s “None of your business” or to “Eff-off”, depending on how you asked me, do I need to justify my words either.

Fizzy water for the win.

Now I’ve come to this decision, and the reasons behind it, I now am ready to finish working through Russell Brand’s The Program as the first step is admitting: I am a bit f*cked.

Step one. Day three.

 

Back to Basics

I have issues with Facebook, I need it in my life (apparently), but I hate it. I am out of alignment with it. I find myself comparing myself to others, wondering why when I am doing the exact same things, I am not getting the same results.

I am out of alignment with it because, I would rather sit with others and talk with them. Hold their hands when they’re struggling, laugh till tears stream down our faces, hug hello and goodbye. I love that I can see pictures of people I care about from here when they’re there. But I hate that I have to plonk myself down in front of a computer to do it. Most often, I use my phone. Which means, it is with me all. the. time.

I listen to audiobooks, podcasts and music on my phone. Check emails. The bluddy thing is ruling my life and I am all out of whack. I’m out of flow. I need it, but it’s running me. Not the other way around.

I took Facebook off my phone. I’m about to take other things off too. Go back to using my laptop, so I have set times and boundaries on the phone. Get my chi back.

Stream of consciousness I know, one thing I’m going to do is blog more often. Get the words out my head :D see what happens.

What’s happening next??

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