6-366

I missed 4 and 5. I was drunk on 4, and at the cinema on 5.

I’ve reached out for help with my drinking, apologised to Hubs and am currently on Day 2 of getting sober. I was so far into shame yesterday, I nearly imploded on myself.

I’ve joined an eight-week fitness challenge, I asked Hubs to take front, back and side view photos of me. The front on is truly awful, will never see the light of day. I’m chewing my lip in pain, but it was real, raw and honest and so I didn’t going to ask him to retake it.

I also took my measurements, am at my heaviest weight, which I thought I’d hit last year. Barely fitting into clothes and cross with myself for abusing my body.

So here we are. Out there and open.

I’m going to share this with you. Because as I find my way through, others might need to as well.

Exercising is going to be interesting with the air quality being as bad as it is with the fires though. I was going for a walk each lunch time – but I don’t think I will be today.

3-366

It’s been an odd day today. We’re packing up and cleaning the house ready to leave tomorrow; we may need to do two trips as we’ve accumulated so much stuff down here. I’m not sure how we managed it, but herding everything together we’re already thinking ruh-roh.

We’ve had the cricket on, interspersed with the news and if you saw my Facebook / Instagram story from earlier with the smoke haze hiding the other side of the road – you’ll know that life as we know it here in Australia has changed.

Ash is falling on New Zealand, cities are choked with smoke and haze, the EPA have issued air quality warnings for Melbourne; let alone the areas that are on fire. Canberra is hotter than Alice Springs, we’re f***ed basically.

And our illustrious leader seems to be waiting for the Pentecostal Rapture, because nothing else can explain his behaviour. He’ll be fine because he holds his hands up to pray and the world going up in flames is what the church predicts. What about the rest of us?

I’m trying not to get cross with it all, but watching the news tonight Archie first said “It looks like lava”, then “Why don’t they put it out?” then “Please turn it off, this is terrible.”

Any suggestions how I explain decades of inaction and resources to an eight year old? That for the past however many years profit has been put above everything else; because a planet with finite resources will always enable year on year growth and a strong economy? *snort* That coal lobbyists have the Liberals in their pockets by donating millions to the party?

Sigh.

I don’t know what to do. I do know that tomorrow, we’ll get up and we’ll carry on. Because our lives carry on, even if others in the Land of Plenty are now in limbo.