Ups and Downs 5

Here are my latest Ups and Downs for you as I bimble along this journey:

Downs:

  • Heartburn, I lay in bed last night propped up on my pillows, rolled over to my side and got a wave of it burning up my oesophagus. If I get through this pregnancy with it intact, I will be surprised.
  • Waking up absolutely raging with thirst, this is an odd one, but because I’m now sleeping through the night (hurrah!) I am ridiculously thirsty when I wake up, my eyes are dry, my lips are practically stuck to my teeth.
  • Emotions, I’m a bit all over the place this week, and I’ve been fine, but for whatever reason, I’m a bit snappy and a bit weepy.
  • Odd patches of tiredness, Peanut has been on a growth spurt, my belly is well and truly out there and there’s no hiding it at all now. But along with the bump growth, it’s been hard week, I’ve been in bed most nights by 9pm, last Friday I was in bed and asleep by 8:30. I’ve also been yawning at my desk in the afternoons.

Ups:

  • I’m sleeping through the night, so in the morning feel much more human.
  • Buying the first onesie, I know it’s a silly thing to get excited about, but as we can’t do much until we move in preparation this was a nice reminder that things is happening.
  • Feeling Peanut wiggling around inside, I’m still getting used to it, but Hubs felt it the other day too, which was great.

Culling extraneous chaff

I am in a transition period, I am feeling somewhat disgruntled with some people and (to a degree) life, so am making more changes to get me in a better place.  This seeking is a constant flow and flux as I grow and change as a person.  I’ve decided I’m checking my home emails once a week and I am checking Facebook once a week.  I will continue to tweet because I love Twitter, I love the immediacy of what people are doing and how so much information can be contained in only 140 characters.  People who don’t get it really are missing out, but this isn’t a blog defending tweeting, this is a blog explaining that I am struggling with some people’s behaviours and that when I can find the words to tell them, they will be hearing from me about it.

 

Unfortunately with some of them, I can’t just write off and watch them disappear from my life.  But if you do get one of these difficult emails that I am dreading writing, please know that I would rather be happy than right, and our relationship isn’t working.  So I am going to do something about it, be it asking you to temper your behaviour, or at least explain your actions towards me, or just ask you politely to leave.  This won’t be easy for me, it won’t be easy for those reading the emails either, but I’ve been having conversations with a couple of people over the past couple of weeks and I know I am ready, I now need to find a couple of hours to sit down, and type what I need to say.  You may get pissed off, you may wonder why I haven’t mentioned things before, but you know me, I am an observer first and foremost.  From being on the outside of most social groups; either by being too tall, too clumsy, not a dancer/actor/arty, not able to run, throw or play sports to any standard, only being able to swim which is probably the most isolating and insulating sport on the planet.  Always standing on the outside of the ‘in’ clique and wondering what it was that I just missed out on, not understanding why my ‘friends’ weren’t my friends at all through most of school.  Why are children so cruel, because that is what their parents teach them to be, that is why.

 

It’s ironic, I got to 100 friends on my list yesterday on Facebook, yet when I logged on today to stop receiving emails from the site, I found myself looking at everyone on the list and wondering how many of the 100 are truly my friends?  Maybe 10 at an absolute push.  I mean people who I call, email, text and Skype, who interact with me on a regular basis.  People who enhance my life, instead of just people I met in past jobs or school and have nothing to do with my life now, (even with me on the other side of the world from most of them) but we all got sucked into building this friends list and crowing about how many people we ‘know’ on a social networking site.

 

Life is crazy, it is also the only one we get, so I am going to be busy culling lots of things.  I’m working through books, DVDs, clothes, trying to limit what is tying me down and making me feel heavy.  I’m also upping the exercise, I’m loving the clear head I get even from just going for a walk before I do anything else in the morning.  Some things I can’t change, but I can change how I react to them.  There is no reality, only perception.  And on the subject of Dr Phil life laws – ‘we teach people how to treat us’ so I am going to try and be more assertive, instead of being so bloody British and having this reserve of ‘I say, do you mind awfully?’

 

Life is managed; it is not cured.  I am putting my life at the top of my list.  I am heading towards my 35th birthday in January, every 7 years you do go through a big change, like it or not.  28 was a bigger deal for me than 30, I am sick and tired of either putting the phone down or visiting with people and feeling worse when I leave than when I arrived or started talking.  Enough is enough.  There is also power in forgiveness, so while I carry on along this journey, I hope that while I do forgive those who’ve made me feel like this. I hope, in turn, they forgive me for not having the courage to act when I felt like this initially, instead of letting things drift and settle.   You cannot change what you do not acknowledge, I’ve taken a long hard look at my relationships over the past couple of months since the wedding, some are not working.  I acknowledge that it’s time to move on.

 

 

Q&A – with thanks to The Guardian

When were you happiest?
Now actually, life is good

What is your greatest fear?
I m not going to worry about something that hasn’t happened yet, I’ve wasted enough time on ‘what ifs’

What is your earliest memory?
Standing in a thunderstorm at Michelham Priory

Which living person do you most admire and why?
Oprah, for not being happy in being just a ratings winner and so telling everyone she was going to use her programme to do good, and she does, right around the world

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
That I can be hypercritical at times

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Arrogance and telling me you will do something, then not

What was your most embarrassing moment?
I am sure I haven’t had it yet, no matter how hard I try at times

What is your most treasured possession?
I don’t own things, they tie me down – but if push comes to shove, our wedding rings

What would your super power be?
World peace

What makes you unhappy?
When people tell me they will do something, then they don’t

If you could bring something extinct back to life, what would you choose?
All the animals that have been hunted for ‘sport’ by Victorians in ludicrous safari outfits

What is your most unappealing habit?
Not for me to say

What is the worst thing anyone’s ever said to you?
XXXX thinks she loves me

What would you most like to wear to a costume party?
I’d send a big sign saying ‘This is exactly why I haven’t come along’

Cat or dog?
Cat

What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Long baths, sorry planet

What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Tapioca pudding, mainly because I pine for it over here

Have you ever said ‘I love you’ and not meant it?
I hope not

Who would you invite to your dream dinner party?
Someone to do the washing up, cook and have the hangover for me the next day

What is the worst job you’ve ever done?
Gardners Books

What has been your biggest disappointment?
That I can’t draw

If you could go back in time, where would you go?
I’m happy here thanks

How often do you have sex?
My parents might read this, so absolutely never

What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
‘Leaders’ actually doing something about global warming before we all fry

What do you consider your greatest achievement?
That I am still here and laughing

What keeps you awake at night?
The street light outside my bedroom window, they follow me from house to house

What song would you like played at your funeral?
I don’t have a clue, but I loved what Helen chose, and wish I could have been there to hear ‘Under the moon of love’

What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
You only have now, so don’t waste it

Where would you most like to be right now?
Where I am, I can’t be anywhere else

 

Seasonal Adjusted Disorder, changing seasons, changing lives

Driving in to work this morning, at nearly All Hallows Eve, which is supposed to be dark, candle lit and full of mystery, it was odd seeing blossom in the orchard that I drive past daily.  Irises by the side of the road, snowdrops in the hedgerows and birds building nests all add to the discombobulation of this Northern Hemisphere girl, transplanted into the Southern Hemisphere.  My Dad’s birthday is in October, this year visiting Melbourne for our wedding, he saw lambs gamboling and frolicking around, instead of people in long over-coats and scarves, dodging puddles with the nights drawing in. 

 

I wonder if I will ever get used to having everything upside down and round the wrong way, and water disappearing down the plug hole in a new direction?  (Wrong way in the sense of having 33 years of seasons in the UK to here, not as incorrect way).  As much as I love candles, burning citronella versions of tea-lights and sitting outside to eat meals towards Christmas feels downright odd.  Some things are so ingrained in you, how easy it is to change when they have been there that long?  Sometimes life forces a big change, sometimes you have to be big enough to make changes to your life.

 

It is odd that the biggest shift inside me was followed fairly shortly after by the biggest physical shift I’ve taken, or will ever take.  Moving so far from all that I knew, understood and loved to the other side of the world was a good thing.  Inside me, I knew I would never be happy while I lived in the UK after the whirlwind of confusion that was the end of my first marriage.  I’ve said it before, I had grown too big for the UK.  And so it proved to be right, validated when I went back to visit in August and felt odd for being there again.  So while I am still straddling two continents, my heart knows it is in the right place, my head is confused about which end is up as I slowly adjust to life Down Under and it catches up and gets into synch with the weather patterns.  Most of the time when the temperature is between 14-20°, it can be any old season here, each day is much like the last.  But spring flowers are so distinctive in their appearance, bulbs that have lain dormant all winter, sprouting up through the grass and hedgerows in parks and gardens.

 

Shifting away from what you believe to be a universal truth when something makes you doubt it is hard.  Being ‘Broken Open’ as Elizabeth Lesser so eloquently puts it, forces some decisions for you, (see end of first marriage) and makes you realize how bad your life was until it changed irrevocably.  I feared the worst would happen, and it did.  I am not saying it wasn’t all my fault, because it was; I should have been able to speak to him and make him listen to what I was feeling.  But then writing that down, I also lost count of the amount of times I said to him ‘I am not happy with your relationship with her’ to be told that I was paranoid/ stupid/ overreacting *delete as applicable.  The worst thing to happen in my life opened me up on the seekers journey I am still taking, changing things slowly (some not so slowly) to get back to living as me.  Too long I was buried and lost in the life I didn’t choose or want.

 

From Dr Phil’s audio-book ‘Getting Real’:  We spend too much time reacting to what happens, instead of thinking about ‘What do I want from life?’  Start looking at things either by are they working or not working and start living by design.  Every one of us has all we need inside us, every tool we need to do whatever we want with our lives, so set a goal to create value in your life, and make a difference.

 

I have some pretty hard emails to write coming up over the next couple of weeks.  I am challenging things that are happening in my life, have happened in my life, and the way I handle things going forward will also be done differently.  There is a certain line that is reached where it is the point of no return, and in some areas I’ve reached them.  Do I really want to do this, or do I not?  Is this working or not working?  Is it getting me what I want?  No.  I am moving towards being more results orientated, so I can continue to change my life to the life I want.  I would rather be happy than right, and I would rather do what works, instead of what makes me right.

 

I love my life, I unrolled my vision board last week and propped things on the corners to make it flat.  I have piles of magazines to cull to pick pictures that symbolize changes I want to make and add to it.  The last time I did this, things started happening because I had taken the time to sit down, think and choose what I wanted, then worked out how to get there.  I can live be design, I have lived by design, so I will continue to make changes and choices that enhance my life, as it is the only one I am getting.  I am sorry in advance if you get pi$$ed off with what I am doing, but by telling you now, you will get over it quicker, I am not not going to say anything to protect you or your feelings anymore if you have been riding rough-shod over mine.

 

 

Happy Anniversary!

One week on from our wedding and we started listening to the wedding music CD in the car last night on the way home from David Jones after spending some of our vouchers given so generously to us for the celebration.  We got maybe 3 songs in and got home, so I carried on listening to it on the way to work this morning.  It did make me angry when I thought of all the hard work that went into choosing it all, making sure it was in the right order, for it to be so royally stuffed up on the day.  So I will vent my spleen on here for a little bit, describe why we chose the songs and music we chose, then forever hold my peace.  Enlightenment is accepting what is, so I accept that with all the mishaps leading up to and on the day, we didn’t get the day we planned or wanted, we are still officially married, highlighting to everyone else the commitment we made to each other when it was decided that I would move to Australia with Dan.

Here is the playlist (we still have some CDs spare if anyone would like one – give me a shout:
Nimrod (from Enigma Variations) – Edward Elgar
An Ending (Ascent) – Brian Eno
C’est Le Vent, Betty – Gabriel Yared
Canon – Johann Pachelbel
Gabriel’s Oboe – Ennio Morricone
Down Under – Men At Work
Hoppípolla – Sigur Rós
Maybe Tomorrow – Stereophonics
Heartbeats – José González
Overkill – Lazlo Bane
God Only Knows – Beach Boys

We deliberately had 20 minutes of music prior to us walking in together, as we were told that the celebrant would be there well before the service (3:30pm) so that everything would be set up ready to go for bums on seats at 3:40pm.  We also wanted people to be listening to instrumental music before the ceremony, not songs, to focus on the wedding at hand.  In the end, we don’t know what was played prior to us walking in, as she arrived at the time the CD was due to start.  We walked in to Down Under, designed to make us and the guests laugh, and relax me as I knew I would be a mess by then.  I wasn’t I was more fed up of waiting and watching months of planning whizzing away in front of me.  Before we walked in, we then were very clear that we wanted the rest of the CD played in the garden while register/certificate was signed and group photos were taken, as Hoppípolla is a triumphant piece of music it would have suited the mood (that is why we chose it!).  Instead we had Down Under played again, then the CD switched from one player to another, then stopped altogether as the celebrant left. 

When we decided to ‘go out’ together properly, one of the firsts gifts that Dan gave me was a playlist on iTunes, (the Gen Y version of a mix tape).  He’d chosen songs that he liked that reminded him of me, put them together and played them to me while we opened a bottle of wine and chatted in his living room. 
Music is a vital part of both our lives, we listen to it all the time, and as anyone knows hearing a piece of music is like walking past and smelling a friend’s perfume on a stranger.  You are taken straight away right back to the most vital time you heard (or smelt) it, it can lift, lower, ruin or celebrate your mood, it can clear a dance-floor if the DJ makes a wrong choice, it can keep a party going for hours if it is the right choice.

Here is why we chose the music we chose:

Nimrod is a piece of music I grew up with.  Both of my parents love it, my brother loves it, I love it.  It starts so quietly you don’t know if you are hearing anything at all at first, then that unmistakable slow melody, played on strings with the horn section slowly moving up behind it to give it some oomph, makes the hairs on the back of my head stand on end.  Anyone who knows me knows that I spend an inordinate amount of time trying to please my Father, this was not only my little ‘I love you Daddy’, but also because it is such a beautiful piece of music it wouldn’t have been my wedding without it.

An Ending (Ascent) is one of Dan’s favourites.  He gets goose-bumps when he hears it.  The music is played slowly, only a few notes are used throughout it all giving the track a disjointed sound; it was written for a film about the Apollo 11 mission to the moon, very ethereal.  Again one refrain is repeated over and over, building up slowly and dying away slowly, so the track finishes as quietly as it began. It wouldn’t have been Dan’s wedding without this piece of music.

C’est Le Vent Betty is from Betty Blue, one of my favourite films, the music played throughout matches what is happening on the screen so well.  Even as Betty descends into madness, the music is still beautiful.  I have brought the CD 3 times in total, once in Lincoln with Glenn, once in Eastbourne, once in Winchester.  Each time I have ended up losing it, or it being kept in the separation of CD collections; finally I brought it from iTunes so it is locked inside my computer now.  This always reminds of long walks, hand in hand, with your hair blowing in your face, skin windburnt, but happy.  So happy.

Canon how do I share this with you?  This piece is so well known, but to me it reminds me of two lovely ladies, my Grandmothers.  Without them, I wouldn’t be here, without their patience and guidance I wouldn’t be as a good a cook as I am, I wouldn’t love flowers as I do, I can’t look at a rope swing and not laugh, I can’t blow bubbles and not smile. 

Gabriel’s Oboe this one is for both our Mums.  Dan’s mum died before I could meet her, she lived in Queenscliff for a long time before she passed and so was one of the main reasons we got married there.  For 2½ minutes of music, it sure packs a punch to the heart strings, Mum sits and sways as she listens to it, her eyes closed enjoying it completely.  It gives us both goosebumps.

Down Under when we were choosing the music, we didn’t know what to walk into, we knew we wanted to walk into together as we were Team LG (Ladele-Grant), now we are on the QT, but when I suggested this as a laugh, it got stuck.  As the rest of the list built itself around it, it stayed, and the guffaws we heard walking through to the courtyard were worth it, even if we couldn’t hear the ‘do do doddle do’ at the beginning.  It also mentions Brussels, where we got engaged – awwww.

Hoppípolla from the original mix tape made for me, this was used on the BBC for Planet Earth trailers just as Dan and I got our act together, a series that makes you feel small and insignificant and makes you mad that people who could do something to save the Planet can’t stop arguing long enough to DO something about it.  Although the language is a mixture of Icelandic and whatever sounds fitted the music, it is joyous, makes us smile whenever we hear it and musically is w00t!

Maybe Tomorrow the last song added to the mix, literally a few days before the CDs got delivered.  Featured across the closing credits of Long Way Round this song has so many great lyrics in, but it is the whole package that makes us love it.  Also there is the Ewan McGregor connection, who we both have a bit of a thing for.  We both adore him (in different ways!)
So maybe tomorrow, I’ll find my way home
This was us when we were packing up our lives to leave the UK, and has been us for the past year as we scrambled to get everything organised around real life, jobs, moving house and we’re still wondering what is the last of the boxes in the study.

Heartbeats another one from Dan’s original mix for me.  This was in the advert with the coloured balls bouncing all over San Francisco, it is a gorgeous cover version, and is firmly one of ‘our’ songs.

Overkill this is an Aussie staple, and has been given various incarnations by lots of artists down under, but the Lazlo Bane version is another one of Dan’s favourites, giving him goosebumps and again was on his mix for me.  This is the final verse;
I can’t get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications
Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know we’ll be alright
It’s just overkill

God Only Knows finally one of my favourites to finish off.  My salute to Dan: God only knows what I’d be without you.  He met me when I was battle scarred and weary from the end of my first marriage; we met, laughed, haven’t stopped laughing since, he stood by and watched me heal and grow from the bombsite I was into the person I am now.  Encouraging me to be me, helping guide me and make the right choices in my life.  He is truly the best friend I have ever had, I love spending time with him, be it watching films, people watching, in museums and art galleries, having dinner, cooking, pottering about the house.  We just have a great time.  My friends and family would not have let me move away from the UK had it not been for him taking such good care of me, of us.  I am truly blessed to be with him, and I choose to be with him, I don’t have to be with him; there is a whole world of difference. 

So now can you understand why the pair of us were so pi$$ed off the music got stuffed up?  Now, after my spleen has been vented and I am choosing not to listen to the voice in my head any longer re-hashing how frustrated we both were and the rush of adrenaline of anger has worked its way out my system, I will think of it no more

The wonderful English education. And these people have a vote.

Actual contestants answers

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for ‘cherrypickers’ and
‘cheesemongers’?
Contestant: Homosexuals.
Paxman: No. They’re regiments in the British Army who will be
very upset with you.

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant: Geography isn’t my strong point.
Theakston: There’s a clue in the title.
Contestant : Leicester ?

BBC NORFOLK
Stewart White : Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful
World?
Contestant: I don’t know.
White: I’ll give you some clues: what do you call the part
between your hand and your elbow?
Contestant: Arm.
White: Correct. And if you’re not weak, you’re…?
Contestant: Strong.
White: Correct – and what was Lord Mountbatten’s first name?
Contestant: Louis.
White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit
with the song What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: Frank Sinatra?

LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)
Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy ?
Contestant: France
Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.
Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let’s try another question. In which
country is the Parthenon?
Contestant: Sorry, I don’t know.
Trelinski: Just guess a country then.
Contestant: Paris ?

THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
Anne Robinson :- Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey
Archer have all written books about their experiences in what:- Prison,
or the Conservative Party?
Contestant: The Conservative Party?

BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )
DJ Mark: For 10 Pounds , what is the nationality of the Pope?
Ruth from Rowley Regis : I think I know that one… Is it
Jewish?

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi’s first name?
Contestant: Goosey?

GWR FM ( Bristol )
Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
Contestant: I don’t know, I wasn’t watching it then.

RTE RADIO 2FM ( IRELAND )
Presenter: What is the name of the long- running TV comedy
show about pensioners: Last Of The .?
Caller: Mohicans.

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER )
Phil: What’s 11 squared?
Contestant: I don’t know.
Phil: I’ll give you a clue. It’s two ones with a two in the
middle.
Contestant: Is it five?

RICHARD AND JUDY Show
Q: Which American actor wa s married to Nicole Kidman?
A: Forrest Gump.

RICHARD AND JUDY
Leslie: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
Contestant: Er .
Leslie: He makes bread .
Contestant: Er . .
Leslie: He makes cakes .
Contestant: Kipling Street ?

LINCS FM PHONE-IN
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in
the world?
Contestant: Barcelona
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I’m sorry, I don’t know the names of any
countries in Spain ..

NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
Question: What is the world’s largest continent?
Contestant : The Pacific?

ROCK FM ( PRESTON )
Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the
name of a famous painting by Leonardo Da Vinci.
Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
Steve Le Fevre: What was signed, to bring World War I to an
end in 1918?
Contestant: Magna Carta?

JAMES O’BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
O’Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth
… er… … er… three?

CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )
Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna ?
Caller: Japan ?
Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you
didn’t hear that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er… Mexico ?

PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and
Israel last?
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days?

DARYL DENHAM’S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland ?
Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland ? Ireland ?
Denham (helpfully): It’s a bad line. Did you say Israel ?
Contestant: No.

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
Wood: What ‘K’ could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er . ..
Wood: It’s got two syllables .. . . Kor . . ..
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . .
Contestant: (Silence)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . ..
.
Contestant: Walked?

THE VAULT
Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where
the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
Contestant: Nostalgia?

LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)
Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?
Contestant: Jewish.
Presenter: That’s close enough.

STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which
jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?
Contestant: Jesus.

 

Random thoughts from 25-35 year-olds – funny!

– More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.

– Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realise you’re wrong.

– I don’t understand the purpose of the line, "I don’t need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they’ve invented the lighter?

– Have you ever been walking down the street and realised that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

– I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

– Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

– There is a great need for sarcasm font.

– Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realise I had no idea what was going on when I first saw it.

– I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.

– I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

– I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

– LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

– I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

– Whenever someone says "I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart", all I hear is "I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart".

– How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?

– I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

– Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using ‘as in’ examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss’s last name to an attorney and said "Yes that’s G as in…(10 second lapse)..ummm…Goonies".

– What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

– While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.

– I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

– Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

– I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

– Bad decisions make good stories.

– Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

– If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

– Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem …

– You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

– Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.

– There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

– I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

– "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

– I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There’s so much pressure. ‘I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It’s only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?’

– I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

– I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

– When I meet a new girl, I’m terrified of mentioning something she hasn’t already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

– I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

– As a driver I hate pedestrians and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

– Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

– I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

– Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time…

– My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

– I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

– I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

– The other night I ordered take away and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic cutlery. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

Stormy weather

We’ve had a bit of a storm blow through over the past 24-48 hours, with more heavy weather predicted.  One of the Practices in the city had a flurry of cancellations late yesterday afternoon as people were advised to leave the city and get home as soon as they could.  Driving home yesterday I was buffeted around, and had the wipers on full blast at one point.  I drove through about 6 inches of standing water too.  Coming in this morning, there was debris all over the road, twigs, leaves, branches and a tree had blown down in a yard on my route in.  Mike was driving home last night and watched a tree fall into the road, then 4 cars pile into it in front of him.  He turned round and went home on the freeway, saying ‘I didn’t want to drive where there were any more trees!’

 

The building we are in at work creaks and groans, the big gum tree opposite that I watch the cockatoos sit in, chatter and look at the leaves has been swaying around like mad, the leaves blowing like a fighter pilot’s silk scarf.  We have a flat roof too, so when it rains, you can hear every drop.  When they are the size they were, hitting the speed they were yesterday, it was a bit bluddy noisy in here.

 

I am not too sure what this will do for the water situation over here, it came down too heavy to be of any use really.  I think most of it will have run off into storm drains and straight out to sea, I don’t know if any will reach the water table.  Even if it does, more and more people are having bores dug into their gardens to give them a supply of water for their plants, bottle water still is being produced by the gallon and that has to come from somewhere, it isn’t rain water they are using!

 

The latest on the car park out the back, (as I am sure you are all riveted and on tenterhooks to know about, it is driving us mad, so it’s only fair I update you all). We have had huge holes dug and filled, we’ve had men stand around scratching their butts while they work out what they are going to do about the kerbs and drains that they started at either end of the car park; but didn’t quite meet in the middle, just like the Watford Gap.  We are now coming in every morning to try and work out where we will park today, as they block off random areas to tarmac them.  Just when you think I can park there tomorrow, they close it off again to paint lines on it.  Open it up the next day, then close it off again so all the workmen can park there the day after.  We’ve given up and either park in the other long term car park; further to walk and risk of shopping trolley being pranged into your car, or in McDonalds over the road, or take our chances in the 2 hour slots on the street outside.  It’s like parking bingo, as people peer out the windows to see if they have a parking ticket; Big Mac wrapper under their windscreen wiper or shopping trolley rammed into their wing mirrors.

 

I woke up bright and early at 4am today, so am on my chin straps now.  I stayed up later too last night, but it still didn’t work.  I am not going to beat myself up about it, I will take a sleeping tablet tonight though, which should push me through to 6ish.  I keep yawning at work, much to their hilarity, but I am also losing concentration too, so will be leaving shortly.  I’ll have a disco nap when I get in for 20 minutes, so I can function as a human this evening, rather than a zombie and post myself off to sleep in sheer bliss at being back in my bed again.  It is such a lovely bed, so comfy, so huge!  When we go to sleep, the pair of us hang over the edge on our sides, so there is probably room for another couple in between us!

*yawn*

Now, I know I am a door-mouse at the best of times, but I think I have probably snoozed or slept over 24 hours in the past 36.  I was falling asleep as we were taking off on the flight to KL, missed a meal (!) as I was spark out, slept for about 7 hours on that leg.  Fell asleep again on the leg into Melbourne, again as we were taking off, I was nodding away in my seat.  When I landed I was wide awake, waiting for my boy on the other side of passport, immigration, customs and baggage handling can do that to a girl.  Yesterday afternoon, I had a snooze, and slept solidly for 5 hours.  I am now at my desk, thinking I don’t think I will make 6pm tonight before I crawl back into the arms of Morpheus.

 

It has nothing to do with the lovely, huge, brand new bed we took delivery of at all.  Ok, maybe slightly.  I felt miles away from DG last night, but that we can both nearly starfish and not touch each other is great.  As much as I love him, I want as much of the bed and quilt as possible, so at least for the time being, I think I am getting all the bed.  As soon as it warms up and he goes to his single duvet that is as thick as a teabag, I will be in seventh heaven.  I can’t wait to get back into bed tonight.

 

I booked a course of sun beds today, and showed the lady in the shop my random streak of sunburn, they are going to help me sort it out ready for the wedding.  She offered to St Tropez me, but I politely declined, explaining I only ever go orange and I don’t want to look like a WAG wannabe for ‘we do’.  I go in on Friday, to start rotisserie chickening myself ready for a backless dress.  Keep your fingers crossed folks.