Crazy doesn’t even begin to cover it

This was the title of my original blog started way back when, before everyone had blogs and I just needed somewhere to type stuff. I’ve imported all these old posts into here. Mostly showing in the uncategorised category, they’re now available for y’all to read. Should you have nothing better to do with yourself.

I’ve got no idea what is in them. I’m almost afraid to look to be honest!

Out of the mouths of babes

We had a family lunch today, Hubs’ father and his step-mum are in the process of retiring and moving to QLD. We went over to their house, which has started to be packed up to wish them all farewell. Our niece and nephew were there, as was Hubs’ cousin, his wife, their nearly 3 year old daughter and 6 month old son. I took a salad, sister-in-law took a lasagne, SMIL had cooked a lamb and BBQd sausages, it was a great spread.

After lunch our niece decided that I was going to have a baby first, then her step-mum was going to. Most decisive she was about it too. Funny that.

On seeing love, in all disguises, with magical eyes

As always happens, a few God Winks in the past week or so have spurred this blog post on. (After listening to Dr Wayne Dyer, I no longer call them coincidences, as that is a mathematical term that has been hijacked and misused!)

Firstly there was Jason Akermanis sounding off on the radio last week. For the majority of you who are reading this, who won’t have a clue who he is I’ve included a link to his Wikipedia page for you. But here is a bit of back ground on him if you don’t want to read it. As an AFL (Australian Football League) player, he is famous Down Under. Mr. Akermanis would also turn up to the opening of an envelope; he is constantly on TV and in the papers. Mainly because he cannot keep his mouth shut on anything. This has led to him being called ‘a colourful character’, I prefer the term ‘ignorant’. His latest foray into expert opinion is about the rumour mill that was rumbling on a prominent AFL Player ‘outing’ himself as gay. Apparently according to Mr. Akermanis on the radio, “AFL is about as macho as it gets” since when did macho have anything to do with sexuality? This whole brouhaha stemmed from his newspaper column in the Herald Sun where the moron put both feet in his mouth and carried on to say:

In women’s sport – tennis, golf, cricket, hockey and soccer – being gay carries no stigma. But men’s sport is well behind in acceptance.

Yes he has a point there on men’s sport being behind on acceptance, but by writing and sounding off about it with such vitriol, you’ve made it worse. And since when did women become all sweetness and light and not paranoid that the lesbian in the changing room may be staring at us? What an ego, we may not even be their type!

The second God Wink was me watching a DVD of the glorious Action Transvestite Eddie Izzard, who is a comedian in the UK. Mr. Izzard has performed all over the world and when you go to see him, you never know if he will appear on stage in men or women’s clothes. So what? You are going to see him, (not what he will be wearing), he is one of the funniest, well read comedians I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen a few. I can’t imagine many others doing a skit on the Greek Sirens somehow? Google Eddie Izzard Lego to see what I mean.

Last year Mr. Izzard ran over 40 marathons around the UK to raise money for charity, nearly one a day in fact; running from London, into Wales, Northern Ireland, Scotland and back down again to London. Stopping for a breather in a Lake District lay-by, he was talking about being a transvestite and that when he has been out in women’s clothes; people have got angry, verbally abused him and even beaten him up. One lady innocently asked ‘Why, do people really have that much of a problem with it?’ He said yes, and that he would not choose this for himself, it is part of him. He knew when he was about 4 or 5 that he liked wearing girl’s clothes, but people assume that because of that he is also gay. He isn’t, he is straight, he fancies girls, but also has this extra bit in him.

Why are people so stupid to see that this cannot be taught? People don’t assume that I was taught to be heterosexual do they? People know their heterosexuality is fundamentally part of them; why should that be different for anyone else?

So this is my quandary folks. How do we get more people to see with Magical Eyes, everyone they meet? How do we begin to break down people’s fear of homosexuality, cross dressing, gender identification et al? Because when people write, speak and proclaim that it is wrong, all I can think of is that they are scared.

We are all born and created equal, when you cut us open we are the same, we bleed the same blood. We are all born with the potential to be our best selves, but if you are scared to live your life as you should and have every right to because other people will abuse, fight or even kill you for being who you are, how can you be your best self? Ellen DeGeneres has spoken many times that she is more successful now than she has ever been, because she no longer has to hide a big secret away inside her. She can relax and concentrate on what she does, rather than hiding who she is.

So, I will keep banging on about being a member of the Human Family, as all of us can make a difference in so many people’s lives; I will try to help people see with Magical Eyes every day; I will try to encourage people to look inside themselves first before they shy away from others; I will carry on giving unconditional love to strangers; I will carry on paying life and love forward.

All of us Pinkies on, in, around and being touched by Owning Pink, know that this stems from finding and holding onto our mojo’s. It’s not a colour, it is an attitude. This attitude has a ripple effect; I saw it today when I updated my driving licence. I met all the people who served and helped me with a smile and an open heart, wishing them all a good day and thanking them for their time. I was in and out in 10 minutes, which meant I was only a few minutes late for work, rather than the hour or so I thought I would be.

Hopeless aren’t I?

I am sorry for keeping you all hanging on waiting for another blog post.  People who are busier than I am get one up every day, so why can’t I?  Not sure I have the answer to that question really.  But here are some questions I do have the answers to:

What is my latest incarnation?  Well, I am officially a Mrs.  The marriage certificate arrived while we were away, so I’ve been changing my name here and there.

When sorting your iTunes music library what is the most played song? ‘Sorry’ Madonna, which was a bit of a surprise, I must admit.  So was discovering I had listened to one audio book no less than 45 times.  If it is any consolation, it is one of the set I play when I sleep.

How are you getting on being a vegetarian? Surprisingly well actually.  I haven’t had meat, alcohol or wheat for nearly a week now.  I know I am not supposed to eat wheat any way, but while away in QLD I had no option, and my stomach has nearly settled down now.  Thank you for asking.

What is your favourite iPhone app? Again a bit of a surprise entry for you, after Mahjong and Tetris, it is CarPool with Robert Llewellyn. 

How is the new job going?  Again, thank you for asking.  Very well.  Although this week I don’t know my arse from my elbow as we have a conference on Friday, and what with being away last week, we’ve all been running around like crazy getting ready for it.  It also doesn’t help when the stationery order appears with a vital bit missing…

What is the weather like?  Bluddy cold all of a sudden.  We got back from a week away, and noticed the weather had changed drastically in our absence.  I’ve dug out a blanket in addition to the duvet.  Also the t-shirt and socks ensemble isn’t really doing it for DG…

As you haven’t updated this in ages, what have you been up to lately?  Been up the furthest north since I’ve arrived in Australia.  We flew into Cairns, then spent most of the week in Wonga Beach, just north of Port Douglas, (I will be doing a blog on the week tomorrow).  This weekend we cleaned the house, DGs cold before we went away meant it was left in chaos, you’d think that someone would have cleaned in our absence, but he didn’t.  We went for a walk around Albert Park lake, the exercise freaks were in skimpy outfits as we were getting hot, but recreational walkers were in hats, gloves and scarves.

Did you all remember your towels on 25th May?  I hope so, but when I mentioned Hitchhikers to two people at work, they stared at me blankly.  tut

A love letter to Oprah Winfrey

Dear Oprah,

As your magazine has celebrated 10 years and your show 25, I think it is about time I said thank you.

I am now 35 years old, and have been reading O Magazine for the past 3 years, and watching when I can for the most of the 25.  Your programme bounced around the British TV schedules, from channel to channel, then time slot to time slot, but when I needed you most, I found you. 

Over the years I’ve learnt about neti pots, your favourite things and how to wear scarves to match the key pieces in my wardrobe.  I’ve learnt that no-one is perfect, and the people that try the hardest, can fall the furthest.  I’ve learnt that a heartfelt ‘Sorry’ will undo a lot, that owning and wearing your mistakes proudly is easier than trying to hide them, that I am allowed to live my best life, and anyone who tells me otherwise is trying to control me.

You’ve introduced me to Eckhart Tolle, Rev Ed Bacon, Josh Groban, Byron Katie, steel cut oatmeal, Peter Walsh, Elizabeth Lesser, Nate Berkus, Drs Oz, Roizen, Dyer and Phil, Michael Pollan, Taylor Swift and Martha Beck, all have enhanced my life, particularly the oatmeal.  I took my husband to see Eckhart Tolle and Dr Phil when they came to Melbourne, loving that he got nearly as much out the evenings as I did.

Now about that bit when I needed you.  My first marriage stopped, failed, utterly and miserably.  Broken open, torn apart, I sat on a friends couch and wondered how I could go on.  I lurched along my life, collecting pain and misery wherever I went, accumulating anger and resentment.  I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t function properly for months.  Then I found a workable way to get through each day, and for the next year or so drifted along aimlessly, only thinking about work, not thinking about the pain inside me.  You chose a book for your book club, and I found a way out of the noise and collateral damage inside my head.  I worked my way through with highlighters and post it flags, it now looks like a rainbow of colours and confetti.  The poor book has been read and re-read so many times it is nearly falling apart.  But when I brought it, downloaded the podcasts and worksheets, it was like a life line.  It literally yanked me back to shore.

How do I thank you?  How do I thank Eckhart Tolle?  The only way I know how.  I try to live my best life, every day.

Wherever your OWN takes you, on this next part of your journey; when you wake up in the morning after your last show, know that there are millions of people all over the world who owe you so much.  I for one, can never repay you.  I am proud to have walked beside you along this journey, joining for the bits I could as the show was bumped around, but you’ve always shown up, upheld your side of the bargain.  Twenty Five years, it’s a long time to wear your heart on your sleeve.  Enjoy that lie-in, you’ve earnt it.

With lots of love,

M x

Six degrees of Kevin Bacon

I can’t remember where I first heard of this, (probably on Will and Grace), but using the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, you should be able to link any actor, with any other actor and onto Kevin Bacon, within six people, or films.  The more you look at it, the sillier it gets, even down to mathematical formulas being used.  It is the sort of silly that appeals to me, that it parodies itself in popular culture too makes it all the better.

I keep banging on about how we are the Human Family, Rev Ed Bacon of All Saints Church in Pasadena opened that door to me, and it’s never closed.  But, if you go back far enough in your family tree, you can trace roots up and down to all sorts of people; my parents found that they were related to each other when they went far enough back.  Finding and claiming connections that bind us together are what we do as humans; you used to be known by who your parents were, your siblings, who did what in what town.  We tell stories to remain connected to each other; whether we like it or not, all our lives intertwine like bindweed.  People would travel the world with letters of introduction, which would open doors to strangers houses.  The grand tours that were undertaken with a trunk and an open mind, are a long way off from the gap years now undertaken.  But if you look hard enough, connections are there.

Take our room-mate for example, his grandparents live in my home town, in the same village as my best friend.  His friend he met at university and that now shares an office with, left the UK after a weekend away with his friends, in my hometown. 

There are far more similarities between people than differences, yet it is only the differences that get highlighted, fought over, what would the world be like if we celebrated our affinities with each other instead?

Wherever you are, wherever this week takes you, celebrate an affinity.  Recognise the common ground instead of fighting over who can walk on it.

Lifetime ambitions of equality

It’s funny, you make these sweeping statements about what you want to do with your life. Most of the time, they will come to nothing, but sometimes you get to check said sweeping statements off the list:

  1. Watch Dame Judi Dench in an RSC Shakespeare play. Check, and in my favourite play, All’s Well That Ends Well to boot.
  2. Watch Nathan Lane in a musical. Check, opening week of The Producers in London.
  3. Watch Lance Armstrong in a professional bike race. Check, this year in Adelaide on the Tour Down Under.
  4. Watch Sir Ian McKellen in a play. Check, last night we saw the opening night of Waiting For Godot. Somehow, we’d managed to get front row seats. We then waited patiently in the cold for him to come out.
  5. Tell Sir Ian McKellen how wonderful he is. Check.

The beard is for the play by the way. I am wrapped up in my pashmina as it was chilly, and dithering with excitement. He was sweet, kind and lovely to all the people who waited for his autograph afterwards. The boy in the right hand side of his picture was doing well until his mum said to Mr McKellen, ‘We’ve watched all the Harry Potter films’. He said, ‘I’m not in Harry Potter!’ I will laugh about that for a long time, the indignation in his voice sounded like he obviously gets that a lot.

I don’t think I will ever run a marathon. I don’t think I will ever learn Russian. But last night, I met someone who has contributed greatly to the world we live in. Co-founding Stonewall, Mr McKellen is a staunch supporter of gay and lesbian rights, simply believing that we are all equal, and should be treated as such. Sadly, Propisition 8 shows that we have a long way to go on that score, the hideous legislation that was recently passed in Arizona, and that Australia consistently tops “One of the most racist countries” lists, highlights that scare-mongering and fear are rife still.

On this Mother’s Day, I hope that one thing we can all pass on, up, forward and sideways is that we are members of the Human Family.

Do unto others as you would do unto you.

It is amazing to me how many ‘Christians’ gloss over that simple phrase in the bible. God is inclusive, not exclusive. God is love. God is not hatred, or victimising others because their path to Him is different to yours. I was brought up a Methodist, but lost that faith when I couldn’t reconcile in my mind how the Church elders would treat other people outside the Church. I now make my own way in the spiritual world, but everyone walks beside me.

Actors and celebrities get a lot of stick for standing up for the wrong things, but every so often, you’ll get one or two who do the right thing. Being able to watch someone in their 70s who is still in demand and as busy as ever, at the top of their game, in a play that revolutionised the world of theatre, was one thing. But to be able to thank him for Stonewall?  That was the true lifetime’s amibition fulfilled.

Back in the saddle again

While unable to blog, I had loads of ideas.  Now I can blog, I am staring into space wondering what they were.  I wouldn’t mind but I carry a notebook around with me wherever I go.  When a half sentence wafts into my head, I should write it down there and then.  Call me a PA?  My life is one oxymoron.  I am so organised in some areas, yet so chaotic in others.  I am so disciplined, yet so lazy.  I am proud, yet prejudiced.  I know that it is a learning curve, some days will be better than others, I have a-ha! moments where I see so clearly, but then get paralysed with the fear of letting go and letting life carry me.  Must try harder. 

It’s raining in Melbourne today, which means crazy drivers, more yummy mummies driving their children door to door to school, people without lights on, horns blaring as people get carved up and people arriving at work frazzled, frustrated and probably carrying that mood throughout the day.

Getting ready this morning, I knew I was going to get stuck in traffic, so I just accepted it.  I got ready at far less than the warp speed I do normally, got my lunch out the fridge and listened to Take That all the way to work, singing along, not worrying about how silly I looked to other drivers.  I am feeling calm, placid and as the majority of the people are out the office today, know I will get a lot done with minimum interruptions.  I am also looking forward to my first rostered day off on Monday, so I have a long weekend to boot!  I am going to update my vision board, cull the magazines that have been stored over the past month or so, and drive out to the country for a walk.  Because I can.  I will also have a bath, read a bit and use it as a day off.  I accrue them through the month, so I get 12 extra days holiday a year.  I’ve decided that every single one of them will be MY days.  I am not going to use them on anything other than me.

This gives me a four-day week next week, ready for a week off in Port Douglas.  Our reef trip is booked, I wish I could tell you how excited I am to be seeing it, up close and personal.  We’re going to be swimming with turtles in the Low Isles.  I’ll look out for Nemo for you all.  I’ll leave you with this, which is what I am going to endeavour to do daily:

Leave Life alone.  Let it be.  Eckhart Tolle

I bet you didn’t know…

  1. I am female and don’t really eat chocolate.
  2. I don’t like deep water, considering how well I swim, most people find this funny.  I don’t.
  3. I am going to officially be an Auntie later this year, my brother is procreating before me.  Which is great as I’m only an Auntie through marriage at the moment.
  4. I hate watching and listening to messy eaters.  It’s enough to put me off my food, as is getting a hair in a mouthful – bleee.
  5. That when I order a coffee, most baristas either look amused, or blank.
  6. That for the first time in a long time, my eating habits are relatively normal compared to some of the girls I work with.
  7. How many books are practically memorised inside my head, I just wish they were useful ones.