With apologies to Robbie Williams et. al.

The fires are out 
And the grass is growing 
Sky is clearer 
With planes not flying 
Wash your hands if you’ve seen anyone 
Can I lick it (no you can’t) 
I got (tissues) 
You got (loo roll) 
We got total chaos 
Got no tissues? 
Gotta sneeze into your elbow 
It’s time to stay at home now 

Fishes are back in Venice 
Can we get a witness 
Every home needs a plan 
Nurses, do you hear me? 
Hospitals, can you feel me? 
Need permission to land 

I don’t want to fight, lady 
But this ain’t no paradise 
When’s it gonna stop, Karen? 
‘Cause you’re queueing up all the night 

Singin’ on balconies
Music for the masses  
Time to pause 
No-one has that many asses 
Box sets of The Office 
It’s time to retreat. 
When scientists talk  
It’s time to listen 

All those meetings turning into emails 
Billionaires beginning to worry 
If you can’t get loo rolls, but your best friend can 
It’s time to share the booty 

I don’t want to be measly 
Karen, just please me 
You got more than your share 

Doctors, do you hear me? 
Truck drivers, can you feel me? 
(Still need permission to land) 
I don’t want to fight 

Hand sanitiser, pasta and rice 
When’s it gonna stop, tell me? 
Cause you’re queueing up all night? 
I don’t wanna fight, Karen 
But you’re not listening to advice 
When’s it gonna stop, tell me? 
Cause you’re queueing up all the night 

Banking ain’t easy 
Most of them fleece me 
Every plight 
Shoppin’ ain’t easy 
But if you’re sharing it 
We’re alright.