Pondering and April fool’s day

I wonder what would have happened if I’d turned a different corner? I was in the car over the weekend going round a roundabout, Hubs was driving, Peanut was in the back, chattering away, and I was hit by this wave of “OMG, how did I even get to meet you?”

What chain of circumstances lead up to us meeting in the first place? Two marriages had to fail, a trip through Europe and Africa had to be planned and travelled on (Hubs and his first wife, alas not me), we met online, therefore we had to be on the same dating site. When you start looking at that, then think he is Australian and I am English, that we grew up on the other side of this planet from each other, it’s amazing we met each other at all.

Sitting in the car, going round the roundabout, I suddenly was worrying about what would my life be like if I’d not signed up to Yahoo Singles? Talk about an existential crisis. I cannot imagine life without Peanut, he is so much an integral part of who I am, to think about this train of thought – I have to park him to the side, which is not the easiest thing to do, but I’ll try.

I think I can take it as read that I’d been living in the UK, I have no need to live in Australia, I came here to be with Hubs after all. But then the close friends I’ve made over here, wouldn’t be in my life. But where would I be living?

I am hoping that my longstanding friends, would still be my friends. But who would be my partner? Would I have a partner? Would I have had any children? Or not?

It is an amazing train of thought to be pondering, one I’m not sure I’m comfortable with given all the history I’d have to un-write. But at the same time, day dreaming is good fun, having your own imaginary life, fantasy world is what keeps some people going in their day-to-day lives.

Every step I took has lead me to this moment, I can’t go back, can’t change anything, all I can do is ponder, stare out a window and let my thoughts roam. What, or who, would be in your parallel life, your alternate universe?

You might have gathered that my imagination has been sparked by this, to the point a book idea has floated into my head. Like I don’t have enough to do at the moment.

I wish I could tell you how much I loathe April fool’s day. Where people seem to save up all their nastiness and bitchiness to try and prank one another. I lost count of the amount of times I was the butt of jokes at school, the crimson tide of mortification rising on my cheeks to the hilarity of others. The planner and executor of the joke finding it hilarious, while the recipient is left embarrassed and ashamed. Not for me thank you. I’d rather have nothing to do with it at all.

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One thought on “Pondering and April fool’s day

  1. It’s a little bit “Sliding Doors”…
    Hope you one day have time to write the book. Be sure and jot down the plot outline at least so you don’t forget!

    Like

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