I nearly put the Grown Up of the title in inverted commas. I don’t feel grown up, I still feel the same inside as I always have done. I’ve been musing about this off and on since Christmas when I spent more time with Peanut and thought, I can remember playing with toys and totally losing myself inside my imagination, so it’s wonderful watching the same thing happen with our son.
Carole has asked this week what indicates to you that you’re a grown up? Here are my ten:
1. Knowing that no-one is going to pick up after me. If I want something tidy, clean, organised – I need to do it myself, or ask Hubs to help me.
2. Budgeting. The never-ending cycle of balancing bank account and bills.
3. Meal planning and grocery shopping. I don’t mind grocery shopping, whereas Hubs loathes it, over the years we’ve been together, we’ve fallen naturally into separate areas of chores in the house, this is most definitely in my area. But I don’t mind, I love cooking, cook books, that I will quite happily read from cover to cover and trying out new recipes.
4. Driving. This was a big thing for me, my mum doesn’t drive so she wanted both my brother and I to learn. I had my first lesson on my 17th birthday, it took me a while to get the hang of it, trying to get my feet and hands to do what I wanted them to do as co-ordination is not my forte. I love driving, and I love driving in Australia, the huge distances have to be seen to be believed, you get no idea how big this country is until you start driving somewhere.
5. Recognising the difference between wanting a child and being emotionally ready for one. I had Peanut fairly late, at 36, but it was the right time for me. A girl I went to school with had a baby on New Year’s Day, at 15 years old. I can’t imagine having a child that is 23 years old at my age.
6. Not having a heap of cuddly toys and fluff in my car. I’m not sure why that one indicates to me that I’m a grown up, but I know that when I see a car that you can’t see the dashboard for toys, waving cats, nodding or waving plants, dream catchers hanging from the rear-view mirror, or Hello Kitty car seat covers, I sigh deeply.
7. Struggling to buy a pair of jeans.
8. Knowing that if I don’t like something, I am allowed to say so. I don’t have to accept everything as it is given to me on a plate. Whether it is bad service, or taking clothes back, or getting my hair re-cut if it doesn’t sit right.
9. Showing empathy. Knowing by looking at someone they’re not OK. Even if I can’t do anything physically to help, walking beside them may be enough.
10. Life law # 7. Life is managed; it is not cured. If you want different, you need to do different, no-one can fix your life for you, except you.
Being a grown up is different for everyone, when Mum brought her swimming ticket yesterday morning, she was asked how old she was and went blank. After thinking about it, she said 65, then laughed as she said to Nathan on the till ‘I still feel 27 inside!’. I’m 39 years old on Saturday. I’m ok with my age, I’ve never had issues with birthdays, although I recognise that for some people the big birthdays are a struggle. It’s a state of mind, given the state of my mind, sometimes there is no room for me to worry about my age, I’m too busy worrying about other things! But knowing when to let go of the worry is a big indicator that you’re a grown up too.
Now get outside and hop, skip and jump, or smell the roses, or make snow angels or watch clouds go by. Just allow yourself to indulge in something you enjoy doing, give yourself permission to be silly, you’re a grown-up – you can do whatever you want to you know!