Thank you universe. You listened to my cry for help and found me a new job. You also listened to when I thought, it would be handy to work closer to home, I’m now down to a five minute commute. I’m moving back to my fundamental skill-set of an EA, looking after one person, in a happy office, I’ve felt the vibe in the building and as a bonus, it’s the local council, the heart of the community. I also will be working next door to the library!
To say that I’m relieved is an understatement. I went from sitting in front of my line manager in tears one day, to smiling, laughing and feeling like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders the next. Literally, I felt like me again. and it’s only when you feel like you again, that your skin fits, do you realise how awful it had been beforehand.
I had a phone call from a dear friend on the day I accepted the job, who wanted to know why I wasn’t shrieking with excitement (as is my wont). They said that I was very subdued. I think I was honestly in shock, as I thought I’d stuffed up the interview, so didn’t think I had a hope of being offered it.
I finish up here on 28 June. Have a week off for good behaviour (ha!) and start in my new role on 8 July. Which means, I will have a week to faff about the house, doing those jobs that have just been left, or are too big to do over the weekends. We may still get up at the same time as we do now in July, but I don’t have to spend the morning rushing to get out the house, rushing Peanut, rushing to meet a train. I will also not be in transit for 2-3 hours a day. Can you imagine what a difference that is going to make to our family? I can put a load of washing on in the morning, come home, hang it out at lunchtime, on a nice day, it’ll be dry in the evening.
There are so many things I’ve been holding off from doing, from starting because I didn’t have the time, I can now pick them up again. Begin again.
I feel truly blessed at the moment. For everyone who has had to hold me up through this wobble, of me doubting myself and my work code of ethics, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you. My core was shaken when my first marriage failed, the one thing I had was work and my level of integrity, to have had that part of me, the very essence of who I am, be questioned hurt me more than I can share. A couple of people know how bad it’s been. Most of you don’t, because while I needed to sound off to people; but until I left, I couldn’t fix what was broken.
That glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel; it is rapidly getting bigger and brighter.