A breach of trust

A couple of you have been in touch since I posted that they’re had been a breach of trust on Facebook. Without going into too many specifics, I think I owe you an explanation, so here goes.

I met a group of lovely women in a BellyBelly forum, grouped together by two-week dates, you joined the group your due date fell into. Luckily, us 13 women dotted about Australia, from Perth to the Gold Coast, from Torquay to Tasmania bonded quickly. I was the only woman expecting her first child, so I used their experience to answer the multitude of silly questions you have. Three years in, this group forms most of my closest friends.

We had created a secret group on Facebook and discussed everything from breastfeeding to meal planning. It was just us, and totally secure, so soon became a place to share our private thoughts and feelings. Thoughts on family members with cancer, questions about having more children, money worries, mental health, lumps in breasts, you get the picture.

One of the ladies hopped on today to say that she was going to have to deactivate her account, she was having problems at home. Then her husband popped up. In our group. With her log on. And blithely told us that he’d read through the entire group and that we’d encouraged her in the problems they were having.

I feel violated in a way I don’t know how to explain. My utmost fears have been read by someone I’ve met once, have no other connection with, yet saw fit to read EVERYTHING in a group that his wife was involved with, because they’re having problems. I’ve left the group, blocked her and her prick of a husband, and am shaken about what to do. Do I stay on Facebook, or not? I honestly don’t know. I was on there primarily because of them and my Mother’s Group, I’d only opened up my account to my other friends recently. I’m hidden, only friends of friends can find me, no-one can see my pictures unless they’re friends or I tag someone in them, I’ve done everything I can to make my cyber-life on Facebook as confidential as possible. Not just for me, but for Peanut too.

So I’m going to have some time out to assess the situation. Until I’ve made my mind up what to do, please feel free to message me, or text, or email, or call. Those of you in real life have all my details.

One thought on “A breach of trust

  1. I can understand how this has made your skin crawl and left you (and, no doubt, others in the group) feeling violated. It’s really disappointing that a place you felt safe to share has now been destroyed. It’s especially sad for her that he is looking at her support group to blame for the problems in their relationship and not turning the mirror around to look at himself. Whatever you decide regarding FB, I’ve got your number and you’ve got mine! TK xo


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