Yesterday I got loads of work done, cleared lots off my to-do list and was in a really good place when I left work. Hubs and I had a productive evening at home, doing ironing (to Muppet Christmas Carol, about as festive as I’m going to get this early on). I slept well, woke up feeling good still, then settled down to read a PD for a newly created role at work.
It was sold to me as complimenting my role, but the specifics listed in the new role effectively remove the things that I like doing about my role. I get so busy on other higher-priority areas, one bit slips all the time. It’s not something I’ve ever been called up on, but as I read the PD, I started to feel all the bits I enjoy slipping away. Leaving me getting edged into a corner, being moved towards something that I do not want to do, was vocal about not wanting to do, as it is too specialised to allow me a way out if that is the direction I get pushed into.
I highlighted the overlaps, and after an email from HR am now expecting a meeting with them later this week. This isn’t about struggling with work, this is about, where is my role going, as I was explicit about what I wanted from the role I came back to after maternity leave. And that has now changed.
I’m writing this, because I can’t not. I have spoken to Hubs already, he was helpful, suggesting I seek clarification from the CEO, but while I’ve left the initial pain and hurt behind, the job that I once loved, is disappearing in front of me. The company I was once proud of working for is slowly imploding, and while it’s not my place to stop it, nothing I’m saying has any influence any more. So I’m done.
Enlightenment means accepting what is. Today was eye-opening.