I can remember peeing too early on a stick, the test coming back so faint Hubs said that I wasn’t pregnant. Two days later then having to go buy another test, and while on my OH&S course testing again at morning tea. That time the line fairly shouted at me, pregnant! Now I am 37 weeks and fully term. How did that happen? Where did the time go?
I’ve not been at work for a week, I’ve completed one thing that I needed to do during that time, what with me getting a virus, and my lap top getting a virus, it’s not been the productive week that I’d hoped for, dotting ‘i’s and crossing ‘t’s. But I’ve had a sleep every afternoon, (except Friday) and have enjoyed having dinner ready for Hubs when he comes home. He’s also liked coming home to someone in the house too, as does anyone after a long day at work, to be greeted by a cheery grin and a kiss.
Here are our Ups & Downs for this past couple of weeks:
- Feeling ill, I’m not a good patient, and this cold/ viral thing has gone on for nearly 3 weeks. But I’ve also felt very snuffly for about the past 6 weeks due to the amount of fluid I’ve got in my body. Some days are worse than others, so it is like one of those colds where you wish it would either bugger off completely, or just come out in full force and be done with it. I’ve had 3 days this week when it hit me with full force. Speaking to a pharmacist yesterday, she gave me a decongestant nasal spray I can use for no more than three days, which has already helped.
- Weepiness (or as Hubs said ‘Your leakage’), in the past week I’ve cried at: Oprah shows; the news; TV adverts; thanking my Chiropractor for looking after me; not being physically next to a friend when she needs some support; getting into a clean car; the kind words and support in the pregnancy forum that have been written this week; my twitter feed as people struggle with miscarriages and grief; books. You name it, I’m crying over it. Sometimes my response is funny, I literally can’t stop the tears from falling, even though I don’t feel particularly sad. Other times, my body is racked with sobs, and I just can’t stop.
- Waddling, my hips and hip flexors are very tight. If I sit down too long, I sway from side-to-side when I start walking. Once I’m up and moving I’m fine, I walk like a normal person. If I walk too long, I start waddling again. I feel pretty unstable, combine this with my usual clumsiness, and I am worried I will trip or fall over. I’m being extra careful, I promise!
- Being given the final all clear on pushing Peanut out. It is a weight off my mind, and I’ve been listening to visualisations and meditations on being relaxed and open, opening like a flower does to the sun. One of my labour totems is a picture of roses and peonies, for precisely this reason. I’m also working on reinforcing the image I ‘saw’ ages ago when I first read Ina May Gaskin ‘Guide to Childbirth’ of contractions being called rushes or waves. Growing up by the sea, one of my favourite things was to float in the water, watching the clouds go by. I could spend hours in water, I love the support it gives my body and how free I feel. Using the word contraction implies restriction, when I read ‘waves’ I could see me lying back breathing gently and rising up with the water, and floating back down. It was the single most powerful image of me giving birth I had, before I even knew I was pregnant, before I’d finished reading the book, and popped into my head complete.
- That this little man is officially ready to come into the world. That in itself is amazing, I looked at the scan pictures we’d put into his album already. From the morpheous blob at 6 weeks, to the fully formed, albeit tiny-wee person at 12 weeks, through pictures of him getting bigger and stronger, to finally seeing him on the screen on Wednesday practicing his breathing movements, I can’t believe that in a month, our son will be here.
- Coupledom, we are both consciously trying to enjoy our last few days/weeks as Team LG. Us two against the world, until it becomes us three against the world. We recognise that these days are precious and will stand us in good stead as we journey through labour and birth together. We also recognise that when he gets here, nothing will ever be the same again, and also we’ll not know how our life was when he wasn’t here.
I want him to choose his own delivery day, to make his way into the world with minimum fuss and intervention. As I feel him wiggle under my left arm as I type this, I hope we can advocate enough to allow him to do his own thing, to let him make his grand entrance the way we all are supposed to, naturally.