My Visa has been granted, I can stay in Australia for the next five years. Travelling to and fro as much as I like, and then can apply for residency and citizenship after that. Providing I don’t spend a year out the country in those five years, providing I don’t spend greater than 90 days out the country in the last year. Or something. I read it, understood it and promptly forgot it. I should be over the moon, I should be relieved, instead I am – meh.
I thought I was over this, but I am worried I am sliding back down to my Black Dog again. It’s the only thing I can think of. I feel out of sorts and have done for nearly four days, when my moods are normally light and if I am grumpy, they lift easily. But, meditating isn’t helping, I am still grumpy, listless, I can’t read, concentrate or hold a conversation. Not good. I will go for a walk again tomorrow morning, breathe in and out, focus on where I am, what I am doing, listen to the stillness between the noises.
I gotta do something, it seems silly to feel like this when what Hubs and I have been working towards for the past 3 and a bit years has come to fruition.