I woke up this morning in a strange mood. I am employed, but I am between jobs. I’ve signed on the dotted line, but I haven’t arranged my desk how I like it. I know where I am working, but I don’t know where the kitchen is.
Yesterday I cleared my desk of a few things, emptied my drawers of a few more, and after being given a lovely arrangement of flowers, left the building. One person in the office was absent at the ‘goodbyes’, the one that has caused all the problems. Another has also been conspicuously quiet about the whole thing, at least towards me: the boss. I have had no email, no text, no phone call to acknowledge my resignation. When I know he has been in and out of his inbox, as I was on his out of office alert on Monday, and saw yesterday that I had been taken off.
The clues were there:
- Before I left, I had a desk full of things from home; text books, photos, pens, tea bags, dried fruit and nuts. When I came back to work, I travelled light. Bringing things back and forth with me in a pencil case and tote bag;
- I didn’t ask for replacement trays for me to store my in-progress work;
- I was out at appointments;
- As I met people who were talking to me about other jobs, my confidence grew. My shoulders went back, I stood tall again;
- I was clear with him, I need to work full time. You won’t give it to me, I will find it elsewhere.
I know he is probably upset and angry that I have left. I know he is probably frustrated that after trying to resolve a situation, I only played lip service to come back, until I left – on my terms. But put yourself in my shoes. When I asked for support, you failed me. Did you really expect me to stay?
Today marks the end of a chapter in my life. I will never write on here again about the toxic environment I have left. While I will offer my support to the people who are still there, biding time, waiting until they can get out, but I don’t want to be dragged under again by the sheer hatred and vitriol that permeate that office.
This door is now closed behind me. I have five days off over Easter before I walk with my head held high into a new office. A new job. A new start. The biggest event on the Christian calendar, funny how life works isn’t it? Last night I googled ‘What does the Bible have to say about bullying’ and found this hilarious and frankly, pathetic response:
Find a counselor or mentor to help you look at the situation from God’s perspective. God says we are to acknowledge Him, put Him first, in all our ways and He will direct our paths. The action and responsibility falls on us but He is faithful as we obey. He works it out.
Funny, I thought ‘Do unto others as you would have them do to you’ would just be enough.