I sit here staring at the red brick wall that is our vista from the living room and kitchen area in the garret in which we live, thinking I won’t miss this. I can’t say ‘our’ flat any more, it never really was our flat anyway, and certainly not now that we have given notice and will leave over the weekend of the 18th July. Dan is off to pay the bond on the new house tomorrow, so we will officially sign the contract then.
We are going to move to a 3 bedroom house, 15 minutes walk away from his work, and about 20 minutes drive to my work. There is a swimming pool 10 minutes walk away, which is the one I would go to, as the closest one to us is downright revolting. I say ‘would’ because, of course, I still haven’t managed to quite get there, despite my bag being packed ready to go for the past 3 weeks. Tomorrow I am going to work on the train, yay I can read, but that also means another day I can’t swim.
(I don’t know why I have such an aversion to exercise, because when I am in the swing of it, I love going. It is just getting going, but I have made more than enough excuses so I am going on Tuesday.)
This weekend has been busy, with me going into work yesterday to clear out the store room, do a mini-stock-take and general tidy up. On Friday our IT bods were in, and cleared a lot of State of the Ark technology out the room for me. We have at least 10 ancient mobile phones, brick sized to recycle this week. Also the head of our workplace Physio branch showed me what was his and said that yes the three printers just abandoned in there were his, and that they were supposed to be on site, and yes they would be next week.
I will probably get, “Why did you throw away that?” At least once, I would imagine. But due to the fact it was covered in dust, crap and buried under boxes dated from last year, will be my defence. If it was that far buried under stuff, it hasn’t been used in, well ever, and will not be used in, well ever, so was thrown out.
Call me ruthless if you like. I prefer practical.
I just wish I could get my Dad to release some of the clutter that is in their house. They are limited by how much room they have, so in the words of Peter Walsh, my other Guru, acknowledge and accept this, so set boundaries. They seem quite content to wade through things to sit down, whereas I find it worrying that they can’t see what everyone else sees. But this blog isn’t about them, and talking about their house isn’t fair on here.
I know that since I separated from Voldermot (aka he who must not be named) my life has become one long journey seeking, well I am not sure, but I know that it opened me up. By giving me the thing I feared the most, D.I.V.O.R.C.E, it freed me so much to realise that I was not, shall not and ever be acknowledged as a statistic or description: be it white, divorced, female, tall, victim of bullying at school, emigrant or whatever. I am much more than that. I am.
Energy flows where attention goes, if you spend all your time worrying about something happening, as I was; I was convinced my marriage was over for a long time before it actually was, you set in place the event you fear the most. In hindsight, it was no real surprise to me that it all fell about around my ears. While it was a shock, horrible and the worst thing in my life, make no mistake I don’t want to ever feel that pain again, but by stripping me of everything I was hanging onto in one swoop, marriage, house, job, self respect; it freed me up to be much bigger than I ever thought possible. I don’t mean ego or waistline, I mean self or soul, I am only beginning to realise that my true potential is still waiting for me to find it. While I am still seeking, I will endeavour to keep posting on what is happening. My life is littered with ‘a-ha!’ moments, I am also grateful for so many more things, because I live where I am now, which is blogging. So I am concentrating on blogging. Whereas yesterday when I concentrated on the store room, I worked quickly, quietly, efficiently and achieved so much in a short period of time. Clearing the clutter from there will also make it less daunting for when I venture in there to pick orders for the Practices too.
Today we have done a little bit of veggie shopping, we have a chicken roasting in the oven ready for a roast later tonight. We’ve done more packing, I have cleaned the bathrooms, the bed is stripped and airing and we look like a Chinese Laundry as there are clothes draped everywhere trying to dry. The ironing beckons, at least for one outfit for work tomorrow, and we need to get our lunches prepped before we go to bed as Dan is off to work early in the morning. Hence me tootling to work on the train.
Next weekend, we officially don’t have anything on the calendar, but I know it will be as busy. They always are, but we are not there yet, so there isn’t much point worrying about it. :D
That is enough waffle from me for today. Enjoy your Sunday for all you Peeps in the UK.