St Kilda (my team) played Carlton (DG’s team) tonight. I stayed awake for the first quarter, 5 minutes of the second then crashed on the couch. It was the game of the season so far Dan told me when he came to bed, as Carlton only lost by 9 points and considering how far behind they were when I went to bed, remarkable.

Dan came in to go to sleep, woke me up, which was just as well as a bloodied leg was hanging from the ceiling at the time. Then I woke up again panicking I couldn’t find Dumbo as I had died and needed him with me. Literally everything had gone black, I knew I had died, but still needed the cuddly toy that has been mine since before I was born. Weird.

I don’t know where they are coming from these dreams, but I wish they would go back there. I am sure they are not meaning my death, but the end of something in my life and a new door opening etc. but they are so real, so horrible. I’ve said before, they are quite peaceful, but waking up with your heart pounding and sweating twice in one night is not good. I am going into work later today too, I have to do a stock take on our store room and tidy it up, so waking up around 3am isn’t what I planned.

So here I sit in our freezing garret, dressing gown and socks on, blanket round my shoulders and goosebumps on anywhere it isn’t covering, thinking I can’t wait to move to a house, with insulation, a timer for heating – just away. So maybe when we have done the shuttle runs with the boxes that are already packed, with more being filled on Sunday, and hired the truck to move the furniture, these dreams will stop.

I really hope so.

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